adropofjupiter | 6th ☆

Entry tags:

6th ☆

[1: Wednesday 8/17 - Action (340 Brady Lane)]

[After escaping Spades, Marisa ran to the first place she could think of where she would be safe, sneaked inside and hid. In a certain magician's room. Under her bed. At least until she calmed down. Sadly, she wasn't hidden quite as well as she thought she was...]

[2: Thursday 8/18 - Phone/Action (1125 Taylor Road)]

[There's a lot of fumbling with the receiver before Marisa finally gets a handle on it.] You know... Some of this milk isn't so bad... This one bottle's kinda like my shrooms. I wonder... I wonder if I'll get those back. Gods I miss them...

Like I miss watching the stars dance in the sky and the... the... trees. Y'know how profound trees are? Such deep rooted knowledge of life and death and the way of balance and the universe. I wonder what the trees would say here with as fucked up as this place is.

[She seems to be talking to someone else now, having dropped the receiver onto the table without hanging up.]

Hey, Patchy... let's go talk to the trees...

[3: Saturday 8/20 - Action (507 Ricardo Street)]

[Fashionable scarf tied around her neck to hide the still-healing bruises from when she'd been strangled earlier in the weel, Marisa decides to go visit Alice and Shiki. Misery loves company and they were all miserable.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*Alice doesn't move to lean into her friend but she also isn't trying to wiggle away either.*

He's probably still mad... ah, well, are... are you well?

No... And neither are you.

[Alice couldn't wiggle away even if she wanted to since Marisa throws an arm about her.]

Why's he mad? He didn't seem mad. Just... quiet.

Of course I'm not... I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have asked. It's almost guaranteed for us to suffer.

... It's because he doesn't understand. Then again, I probably don't understand him either.

Misery loves company, ze. It's why I'm here. And I missed you. I want to be where I'm safe.

[...]

I'm listening, Alice. Talk to me.

It's safe here for now... but in the mornings... you should leave before the milk is delivered.

I can't... understand Shiki. I believe it is because he is always so close to death. He treats it with respect, mind you, but he's still so overfamiliar with it... because of that, I cannot understand what he is thinking in a time like this. I do not understand how he can have such little regard for himself.

...what happened?

I-I... drank the milk and died so... after that, no matter what I said, Shiki brought all of the bottles in and drank them one by one by himself... I have not felt this weak in quite awhile. Even when other things happened I had my magic to protect me... but I cannot stop him from hurting himself.

You died?! Oh, Alice... [She squeezes Alice a little. After a moment of silence...]

I kinda... I think I understand him...

*Alice puts one hand over Marisa's and just rests it there.*

Well, that was my third time... b-but the other times it happened so quickly and this... n-nevermind. I don't want to think about it.

... If you understand, then please explain it to me.

I know it might not make sense to you... but I think I get it.

Alice... he loves you. And watching you... suffer. Die. There... there wasn't anything he could do about it. He can't go kill the Milkman. He can't kill the milk. Yeah, he told me about his power. He loves you... and he couldn't do anything to stop what happened. And there's nothing worse than having all that power and not being able to protect the ones you love.

...so he's doing the one thing he can; he's preventing it from happening again, consequences be damned.

And I understand this... because I'd do the same thing for Patchy.

... I am an incredibly weak and pitiful creature. I would never have the courage to do something like that. Not for anyone. Not after knowing it could kill me.

But it hurts too much to watch him get hurt. Doesn't he understand that I love him too? I cannot do anything...

[Marisa leans over to give Alice a soft kiss on the cheek.]

No, you're not weak and pitiful. You're just afraid.

You've always held yourself back, afraid of going all out, afraid of giving it your all only to have it fall short. So you hold back, to give yourself an excuse, a comfort zone. And that's not a bad thing, ze. But it does mean it's hard for you to take chances. You worry too much about 'what if'.

Shiki? He's fearless, but being fearless doesn't mean he has an absence of fear. It means he doesn't let the fear control him. Same with me. We both know life's too short to worry about the 'what ifs'. Yeah, he's youkai now, but he's so new to it he might as well still be human.

But it'll be okay, ze. It'll eventually be okay.

I told myself I'd stop being afraid but I suppose that is harder to say than to do.

... Still, I need to convince him to stop drinking. I cannot let this carry on.

It's okay to be afraid, ze. You just gotta not let it control you.

...have you asked him nicely? Said please? Tell him how much it hurts your heart to see him go through all that? Have you told him you love him lately? Told him you two need to share the burden?

We both know that I do.

... My first reaction was just to yell at him. I was so scared... but, he doesn't even... think of himself the same as other people. His sense of self is so warped that I don't know how to get through to him sometimes. Sometimes I think that he already... sees himself as being dead.

Alice... Just because you both know that you love him doesn't make saying it, hearing it, any less important. And powerful. Sometimes it just needs to be said.

And maybe he does see himself as already dead. I'm pretty messed up in the head and I can't imagine what it must be like for him to see death everywhere he looks. And then there's his family's lineage on top of that...

Maybe I understand him a bit better at times because I'm insane. I'm sure the way I see the world is pretty fucked up, ze. That curse reminded me how much the magic calls to me and the lengths I will go because of it.

...he says he's sorry, by the way.

*Alice sniffles a bit, but she tries to hide it. Badass youkai magicians don't cry.*

Idiot, he can't even apologize in person... but you're right, I guess I will just have to make him understand how much he means to me.

[When Alice returns to being a badass youkai magician again, she can stop crying. For now, tears would probably do her good. Marisa hugs Alice again.]

I suggest saying: 'If I could freeze the heavens to make my moments with you last for eternity, I would gladly do so and give up all that I covet, stop hiding behind the dolls I've created because my love for you is stronger than anything I've ever encountered. This is our eternity... please share it with me.'

[She chuckles softly.] Or something like that.

*Alice gives a half laugh, half sob.*

Maybe you can say something like that, but I cannot. To begin with, if I said something like that, Shiki would surely think that I am about to die again.

That's why you rephrase it in Alice-speak. It'll get the same point across.

Now get up, ze.

... How come? This bed is comfy.

Because you have a boyfriend you need to go hug, tell you love him and actually talk to about this. Not yell. Talk.

[Pulling covers down] So up.

*Alice uses every last inch of willpower she has to sit up and get out of bed.*

Yes, I understand... this is something I have to do.

*And she goes to talk to Shiki. Godspeed, Alice.*

[And he peeks over the couch at the incoming Alice. HE'S SUSPICIOUS.]

....yeah?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject