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[She doesn't even look up when Ciel joins her.]

Trying not t'feel. 's'easier that way.

[She may or may not be sober right now...]

[That's answered with a mild click of her tongue.] Geez, don't say that when you've already been drinking. Besides, as a Magician, you know there are more practical ways. Isn't that like indulging too, going at it like this instead of some other means?

[She may or may not be purposefully pushing her usual naggy self...]

Sh-shut up. You're not-- [her voice cracks there a little] -- my mother.

[And she chugs the rest of the can.]

Then think of it as friendly advice.

[...]

Do you want me to go fetch a blanket? The weather isn't going to get any warmer.

Not cold. 'Sides, I can use my magic again if I do.

...guess I should thank you. [And that's as close as she gets to actually thanking her.]

Aha. That would be a good warm-up, in more sense than one. Hm?

[she holds back a soft sigh.] And you know it's okay. [she... appreciates it, but they both know there's no need for either side to mention it, don't they?] It's the right thing to do, I'd like to think. Plus, no matter what you remembered or forgot, you still knew what you wanted. That's admirable.

[Marisa finally looks over, dropping the can with the other empties.]

...why wouldn't I?

Well...

[She leans back, it's her turn to dodge Marisa's eyes now.]

Do you think that what a person wants is synonymous, to what makes them happy?

To some it is.

But not all, right? It depends. Some people might mistake something that's actually pitiful for happiness, others might not even know what they want at all. So if the base is already flimsy, a memory rewrite could really be damaging.

[All third person, of course. Always third person. But Marisa might or might not pick up a mildly deprecating edge in her quiet tone...]

Pretty sure a memory rewrite is damaging no matter what. Not everyone can handle the pain. Sometimes the monster is too scary to face. Just because someone know what they want doesn't mean they can stomach getting it.

[She flops on her side, back to Ciel.]

...still better to be in pain than to never feel any of it ever.

That's true. If it isn't, then something must be really wrong with that person, aha. It seems like all boils down to willpower, or something like that.

Not any, no, but not all, either. It's hard to draw a concrete line with stuff like those.

[back to back is ok. it's not like this conversation is personal in any way, shape or form, right.]

Or they're stupid. Or just... want a break. It was nice... at times. To not feel it all.

My, how harsh. [she sounds vaguely amused as she keeps going without skipping a beat.] "Ignorance is bliss", yes. Little white lies are okay sometimes, though. There are certain things people don't really need to know about, if they can get away with it. It only makes sense: the less upsetting things you're aware of, the happier you'll be off overall. ...Theoretically, anyway!

You know what I meant.

[It was nice, in a way, to think Patchouli had just been some girl she'd liked who's family moved to Westport instead of the woman she loved that was killed by the town and gone for good. But only for a little bit. Even knowing the pain, she wouldn't give it up willingly. It was part of who she was.]

Mm, I suppose I do. This whole town still feels like a dream, sometimes. Both too idyllic and too twisted, to truly be real.

[a beat.]

You'll see her again once you go back home though, won't you? Maybe not carrying these specific memories, but Marisa Kirisame will definitely meet with that girl again.

I know. It's one of the things that keeps me going. [pause] But I still know what I had here with her will never be back home. It was something here that made her fall in love with me. She doesn't love me back home...

But at least she'll still be there.

[She gives a quiet, almost wistful sigh.] Hehe, to fall in love... [except oops now she sounds like a super old grandma doesn't she... MOVING ON] You're very devoted. But odds are you won't remember, either. That you ever fell in love with her at all in the first place, in some construct of an American town called "Mayfield". Have you thought about that, if it's okay for me to ask?

Ciel. I've been in love with her for years. This town has nothing to do with how I feel toward her.

...I see. That sounds like a familiar problem... Then can you do something about it, once you go back? [It'd be unclassy to ask if Patchy has anyone else back home, but... welp.]

I dunno. Hadn't done anything for years. Might not do anything for more years. Can't really explain why, ze.

Don't wanna to talk about her anymore. Pick something else.

I'm not too worried, honestly. You're the type of person who knows what she wants and what to do to get it. If you really love her, you'll no doubt chase and get your own happy end.

[but changing topic? SURE, SHE CAN DO THAT.]

How about you pick? You can ask me anything you like. I'd normally put some form of restriction, but given that things are likely coming to an end very soon, it won't matter anyway.

[it should take her mind off of things, too. Ciel's betting on that much.]

...you won't answer the things I want to know anyways. Kinda pointless to ask, ze.

My... Have I been that discouraging?

Yes. Case in point, ze. What happened to Elesia?

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